THE TABLE OF THE HEART
By
Joan Kessler
MINETTE is trying to put Assorted Closet Items and Boxes back into the Closet. One Box is set aside, and an Old Brief Case with a Key Lock is seen. JOE enters unseen with Brief Case, Mail, and Flowers.
MIN
I don't get it. There's one less box. Why doesn't this work?
JOE
It's the nature of the universe, as I understand it.
MIN
Joe! You scared me.
(sees Flowers)
Oh, how sweet! Thank you, honey!
MIN and JOE embrace.
JOE
Yeah, happy anniversary.
(looking through Mail)
I'm still getting letters from that Book Club. I haven't ordered anything in, I don't even know, five years. You'd think they'd get a clue. What are you working on?
MIN
I was looking for something. You're home early.
Joe notices his Old Brief Case. During the following, he checks that it is still locked, checks his Key Ring where he finds the Key, then takes Old Brief Case and hides it behind the Desk.

JOE
You're always moving things. Why do you do that?
MIN
Because I'm good at it. What happened at work?
JOE
I can't find anything when you clean. I was almost late this morning because I couldn't find my socks. I like them in the bottom drawer, they're closer to my feet. I had to inspect a new building but the new owners were missing a permit so I sent them right back downtown.
(reading)
Looks like Sue Grafton's nearing the end of her career. "Z is for Zero More Mysteries".
MIN
You always hated her titles. You said they were too boring to make you want to read the books.
JOE
I read her stuff. Just not my thing. I prefer Chandler and Hammett, and Spillane. What is this trend with adult writers now, everyone suddenly writing for kids?
MIN
Why don't you order something and find out.
JOE
These book clubs rip you off. Don't forget we have reservations for tonight.
MIN
I haven't forgotten.
JOE finally notices the Box.
JOE
What's this?
MIN
Happy Anniversary Joe!
JOE removes the Box to reveal an Old Typewriter - it has been customized to include a sword with a heart-shaped hilt.
MIN (CONT'D)
It's Sir Remington, the Swift and Trusty. Able to percy publishing houses in one page.
JOE
I thought I got rid of it.
MIN
You did. I didn't. I had it tucked away so well I almost couldn't find it.
JOE
Why did you do this, Minette? I didn't want it anymore. I told you.
MIN
You were being hasty and I didn't want you to regret it later. Besides, Sir Remington here delivered your proposal to me.

MIN (CONT'D)
I thought it would bring back some romantic memories for us tonight.
JOE
It doesn't.
MIN
Well, give it a minute. It always needed time to warm up. It's peculiar that way.
JOE
It's a worn out steel-plated burden. A museum piece. You should have left it where you found it. You should have respected my decision and left it at that.
(pause)
Thanks for getting the oil changed, I didn't have time. I'll take a look at the shower tomorrow. I don't want to get messed up before dinner. Were you okay without it today?
MIN
Oh yeah. I didn't go to the office. I just e-mailed The Weekly Neighbor after editing this morning. And I was on the phone with your mom for quite a while.
JOE
Oh. Did you have a nice listen?
MIN
I like hearing her stories about you. She likes to remember. It's sweet. And she likes me to reassure her that I am taking care of you.

MIN (CONT'D)
And that you're taking care of me. What time is the reservation?
JOE
Six o'clock. There's a game on at eight, so that should be fine. Or, was there something you wanted to watch tonight?
MIN
No, there's nothing. I guess I'll go get cleaned up.

JOE
Min, I'm sorry but I didn't ask you to save it. You dig it up after all these years. How did you think I'd react?
MIN
It's been a long time I know, but, you can't simply discard something like this and expect to go on. As if it never existed. That was the heart and soul of your life.
JOE
If it means so much to you, you keep it. Use it for a potted plant or something.
MIN
I don't need a potted plant, Joe.
JOE
I'm sure you'll find some use for it.
MIN
Well at least you're consulting me this time. You know what, fine. It's gone.
(Doorbell is heard)
JOE
It was gone four years ago.
JOE answers the door - a Man with a Clipboard and blue Recycling Bin is revealed.
PERCY
Hello. I'm here for the recycling.
JOE
Excuse me?
PERCY
Percy's Pick-Ups. You have a typewriter, black, not seen the light of day in four years,
PERCY (CONT'D)
listed here as 57M94/Q? Sir Remington Something?
JOE
Yeah.
PERCY
I'm here to collect. 211 Longfellow Drive? Thursday? Maybe this is a bad time.
JOE
Oh no. My wife was just dragging me through the mud of Memory Lane.
MIN
It's right over here. Do you need a hand with it? Joe give him a hand with it.
PERCY
I got it. She's my final pick-up, then I'm going Home.
JOE
You saved it all this time to give to me on our anniversary and then have it taken away? Oh that's romantic.
MIN
I didn't call him.
JOE
Then what are you...? Who are you again?
MIN
He's a godsend, solving all our problems.
PERCY
Will you look at that. It's a classic. Really good shape, too. Mind if I, uh...
PERCY strikes a key.
PERCY (CONT'D)
I love that sound.
JOE
What is all this? Who sent you here?
MIN
What difference does it make? You want to get rid of it. He wants to take it. I'll get the door.
JOE
Wait a minute. I thought you wanted it. Isn't that why you've kept it all these years? Sentimental value?
MIN
Yeah, maybe. But there's been a change of heart.
PERCY
Sounds like you're having second thoughts Joe.
JOE
I am not having second thoughts. But if it means something...
PERCY
(overlapping)
Great. If you two could just sign here. Someone will be really happy to get this.
JOE
You're going to give this to just anyone?
PERCY
You have any objections?
JOE
No. It's just, my mother'll be disappointed. It's an heirloom.
MIN
I thought it was a worn out steel-plated burden. I think I'll skip dinner Joe.
MIN exits.
JOE
Women.
PERCY
Will she be gone long? I'll need her signature as well.
JOE
Why do they get so attached to things? They save everything. They won't let go. You should see the closets around here. You need a hard hat just to hang up your coat.
PERCY
Who's idea was knighthood?
JOE
Min's. We used to have this...idea...I don't know. It was stupid. She said something about guaranteeing it serve faithfully, or die trying.
PERCY
Women. Helpless romantics.
JOE
I think it's "hopeless".
PERCY
Oh, I don't know about that.


JOE
Where's your clipboard, I'll sign that paper.
PERCY hands Clipboard and pen - Feather Pen - to JOE.
JOE (CONT'D)
Wait. Let's have a drink first. We'll commemorate the evening. Something lost, something gained.
PERCY
What exactly are you losing?
JOE
A false future. I mistook talent for vocation. An amusing mistake. To your real self be true.
PERCY
"Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: write them upon the table of thine heart."
JOE
Halleluiah.
PERCY
The key to bliss.
THEY clink glasses & drink. PERCY chokes, coughing up a Key.
PERCY (CONT'D)
Oh no.
JOE
You coughed up a key.
PERCY
Yeah. I wonder what it's for.
JOE examines the Key. He suddenly checks his Key Ring; one is missing.
JOE
Oh this can't be...
JOE retrieves his Old Brief Case. The Key unlocks it.
JOE (CONT'D)
How did you get my key? Who are you? What do you want here?
PERCY
(Overlapping)
It was an accident, I didn't mean to do that when I said that, but then you said, too, that was an Assisted Miracle, if you could both just sign here I can Leave You in Peace.
JOE
I want the truth! Did you just say "leave you in peace"?
PERCY
That's generally what we do.
JOE
Uh-huh.
PERCY
You're having a little trouble with this, aren't you? It's because I'm not numinous. Or luminous, even. Although, technically, halos are a result of a fourth century artist movement. Many people don't know that.
JOE
Halos. So you're...well, are you...am I in big trouble?
PERCY
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You're thinking of Azreal. No, I'm just the household variety. Although we are in the same triad.
PERCY (CONT'D)
Third. I'm just here for the signatures, and a hundred and fifty seven points.
JOE
Do you mind if I have another...?
PERCY
No. Do you mind if I don't join you?
JOE
Of course not. Don't drink and...What are the points for? Some kind of commission?
PERCY
You could say that. I have until tonight to reach my quota.
JOE
Which is?
PERCY
Five hundred million and three.
JOE
Jesus! Where are you at?
PERCY
Four hundred ninety-nine million, nine-hundred ninety-nine thousand, eight hundred and forty-six. And I'm kind of on a deadline here.
JOE
If it's not too personal, what is it you did? I mean I didn't know you could do anything wrong.
PERCY
I was sent to answer a prayer. And when I saw her, I wanted very much to be the answer. She threw away her dreams for me. I got scared.

PERCY (CONT'D)
Maybe it's the gravity, the gravity of responsibility.Does something to us down here, it's really overwhelming. Of course, you're born to it.
JOE
I'm not so sure that it makes it any easier. Just out of curiosity, what happens to you if you don't get all your signatures tonight? Do you have to start all over?
PERCY
If, for some reason, I fail tonight, I roam the earth a souless man, never to return Home. Everyday reminded of what I could have had, and everyday unable to forget why it isn't so.
JOE
What's it like? When you're, you know, up there?
PERCY
(pause)
Do you remember the moment that you knew you were in love? It's like that moment, times infinity. Great phrase, "in love".
JOE
Do I sign here?
PERCY
Yes, Sir.
JOE signs, MIN enters.
MIN
Would you mind looking at the shower. Please.
JOE
Yeah. Sure.
JOE exits taking his Old Brief Case with him.
MIN
Aren't you taking this?
PERCY
Sure. If you could just sign here.
MIN
Didn't Joe sign it?
PERCY
I need signatures from both parties.
MIN
I don't know why you want to give this away. You could get a lot of money for it. I mean without the decorations.
PERCY
It's not about the money. I collect broken dreams and recycle them. This typewriter is an ugly duckling about to become someone else's swan.
MIN
I see. Percy. That's short for Percival, isn't it, I like it. Do you believe in 'happily ever after', Percy?
PERCY
It's kind of an occupational hazard.
MIN
We had it coming to us. The story book romance.The fairy tale ending. We struggled at first, but we knew where we were headed. We could always just see it on the horizon, that sunset we were riding into. Then one critic slammed him.
JOE enters unseen with Old Brief Case.
MIN (CONT'D)
Said his material read like a "lovesick antiquity". One critic. You know I pulled this out of the trash. I kept it at his mother's house for a couple of years, I didn't dare risk him finding it here. Why are men so stubborn? And selfish. He tears his heart out, locks it up and throws it away! Only he forgot that it's not his to dispose of. He forgot about the day that he gave his heart to me.
MIN signs the Form.
JOE
I was trying to protect you. I wanted you to be the wife of a successful, well-respected writer. Not some joke in the Book Review. I was embarrassed. I couldn't write and you took a job to pay the bills. Not the life we dreamed of.
JOE opens the Old Brief Case. He takes out a Manuscript and gives it to MIN.
JOE (CONT'D)
I started writing it while my last book was being published. I put it away when the review came out.
MIN
(reading)
"For Min, my Faithful Defender".
JOE
I've kept this locked up long enough. Forgive me?

MIN
I did, a long time ago. You just need to forgive yourself.
PERCY crosses to door with Typewriter.
JOE
Hey, wait a minute with that.
JOE strikes a key.
JOE (CONT'D)
Go Home, Percy. And thank you.
PERCY
My pleasure.
As PERCY steps into threshold a warm, white light shines on him.
PERCY (CONT'D)
I'm feeling a bit luminous.
PERCY disappears.
MIN
Joe, did you see that? It was like he just...like he walked into...
JOE
Pure joy.

CURTAIN