ALL ABOUT HONESTY

By

Javi Mulero

Javi Mulero
2449 N. Beachwood Dr. # 13
LA, CA 90068
Tel #: (323)966-9235
Mujavier2000@yahoo.com

A sidewalk café/breakfast place, outside, by the sidewalk. Around 10:30AM. New York.

TOM is sitting at a table, alone. NATALIE happens to walk by and spots him.

NATALIE: Tom?

TOM: Natalie!

NATALIE: Oh, my God! Hi!

TOM: Hi! Good to see you!

NATALIE: What happened?

TOM: Me? Oh!

NATALIE: What happened to you?!

TOM: Noooo! – Just ---

NATALIE: What happened to you yesterday? I didn’t see you after the show!

TOM: Oh, no! Yes! Yeah, I had to leave, I was gonna call you today! To tell you you were great!

NATALIE: Really?

TOM: Yeah! Really great. In the play. Really good! Really!

NATALIE: Oh! -- you’re so! – Can I sit down?

TOM: … here?

NATALIE: Of course!

TOM: Suuuuuure! Here. Sit down! Sit down, right here!

NATALIE: You know you should have stayed! I wanted to talk to you after the show.

TOM: Oh, you know, yeah, I had to take off like – and I meant to tell you – like immediately, because I had to meet someone – sort of like a business meeting – you know what I mean? -- And – but you – eh – you were great, really!

NATALIE: Yeah? Thanks!

TOM: No, really, I had a great – I was gonna call you today and now this makes it even more convenient, my running into you here, because now – I don’t have to call you.

NATALIE: Great. So what did you think?

TOM: I – huh – (stumped) you know – don’t worry about reviews or anything because your work even – transcends all that stuff.

NATALIE: Who’s even talking about reviews? I just want to hear yours!

TOM: (dismissive) Reviews are only like, you know – for posterity!

NATALIE: I haven’t even read it. It came out, right? Was it okay?

TOM: You haven’t read it?

NATALIE: No. Have you?

TOM: No! I never read that shit. We never even talk about it at my office. But who even cares about them, right?

NATALIE: Right.

TOM: Even if they’re right.

NATALIE: Do you have any tips, any notes for me?

TOM: No! No, no, no – not at all! I have a couple.

NATALIE: You do? For me?

TOM: No, no. Not for you. Just general! Just – you know. For the other people.

NATALIE: ‘Cause I – I love notes. Anything that can help me, you know?

TOM: I think that maybe – you know – pick up your cues.

NATALIE: Mine? My cues? I should pick up their cues or they should pick up my cues?

TOM: No, no. You’re fine. The others should pick up your cues.

NATALIE: And? -- Anything else?

TOM: And also – that – they should relax more and present life as it is and not to look like they’re faking it so much. I mean – that’s a little harsh, you know – ‘cause they were so good! – but, no, not you! You were fine!

NATALIE: I’ll be sure to let them know. Thank you so much! It was my first play ever, you know?

TOM: Yeah. I know.

NATALIE: In front of an audience.

TOM: The program said it, yeah. It was everybody’s first play, apparently.

NATALIE: Yeah.

TOM: But you – in particular – were just, by far –

NATALIE: Don’t say anymore. Thank you! (she gets up)

TOM: No. Thank YOU. Really. You were just – magNIficent.

NATALIE: See you around!

(She exits) (BILL enters)

BILL: Tom?

TOM: Oh God!

BILL: I thought that was you. You were talking to Natalie, your ex-girlfriend.

TOM: Yeah, she just happened to –

BILL: Did you see the review? What they said?

TOM: Oh my God. They might as well have assassinated her, cut out the middle man. Thank God she doesn’t read them. I had to hide it under my breakfast plate as soon as she came over.

BILL: I guess the rest of us were lucky, huh?

TOM: Yeah. What was it? -- (reads:) “Three of the four performers were okay.” That’s not bad. That is NOT bad. You were good.

BILL: Yeah, but poor Natalie…

TOM: Yeah – “however: the performance of Natalie Gallo was so ludicrous that on opening night there were Gales of unintended laughter in the audience. This was a major casting blunder.”

BILL: And they spelled “Gales” with a Capital “G”.

TOM: I tell you – that review – they were kind to her.

BILL: I hate the play, you know?

TOM: You do?!? And you’re in it?!

BILL: Yeah, even though I’m in it. I just did it to – to showcase myself.

TOM: Who wrote it?

BILL: Sam Allsop.

TOM: Oh!?

BILL: Do you know him? Natalie’s current boyfriend?

TOM: Oh, her – Really?? Yeah, I know OF him. His girlfriend is a terrible actress.

BILL: She must be talented in some other departments. That’s all I can say! (then:) Oh, God! I’m so sorry!

TOM: Nah! Listen –

BILL: I mean, she’s your EX!

TOM: No, it’s okay. She’s is talented. Yes. In nothing whatsoever to do with acting, of course.

BILL: Actually, yeah. I know. (then:) Listen –

TOM: You KNOW?!?

BILL: ….Don’t show her the review.

TOM: I didn’t. I won’t.

BILL: She doesn’t read them. Nobody in the cast reads reviews. Nobody reads them.

TOM: You read them!

BILL: Yeah, ‘cause I always read them. But nobody else does. And neither does she. It might affect her performance.

TOM: There’s so much more room for ineptitude, right?

BILL: Come back and see us. Hopefully we’ll get better.

TOM: Y – y- yeAH – I’ll definitely come back. Definitely!

BILL: And thanks for your comments. I appreciate it.

TOM: Hey. I’m a New Yorker. We tell it like it IS!

BILL: Take care, man.

TOM: Goodbye.

(And BILL exits while TOM watches him go)

TOM: (to himself:) No way in hell I’m coming back! To see her??? Plus this guy?... Christ! Putting it kindly: he was almost half as bad as she was!!...

THE END